We are proud to announce that dak, the Debian Archive Kit, has been replaced by a neural network for processing package uploads and other archive maintenance. All FTP masters and assistants have been re-deployed to concentrate on managing neuraldak.

neuraldak is an advanced machine learning algorithm which has been taught about appropriate uploads, can write to maintainers about their bugs and can automatically make an evaluation about suitable licenses and code quality. Any uploads which do not meet its standards will be rejected with prejudice.

We anticipate that neuraldak will also monitor social media for discontent about package uploads, and train itself to do better with its decisions.

In terms of licensing , neuraldak has been seeded only with the GPL license. This we consider the gold standard of licenses, and its clauses will be the basis for neuraldak evaluating other licenses as it is exposed to them.

Over the course of the next few weeks, neuraldak will also learn to manage the testing suite. Once it is established, we expect to be able to make a full stable release of Debian approximately every six weeks. We have therefore also re-purposed Janelle Shane’s cat name algorithm to invent suitable release names, since the list of Toy Story names is likely to be exhausted before 2021.

neuraldak is an independent software project. Rumours of it being derived from Skynet are entirely unfounded.